not a good start

what a term to start my school year. i think that i'm already starting to fail my majors again (oh nooo).... okay it almost half of the term and i'm already worrying about my grades. i don't feel like this is a good start to start my school year. my major subjects are MAJOR. they are too demanding and i feell like i want to burst. plus, i'm too lazy this term. i don't know why but it seems like student mode is not into me this term. i tried to study..many times.. but why i keep on failing. i feel that my effort is not enough.

i promise myself to exert all efforts that i could give. i had failed one major subject last year and i don't want to have the same situation. i don;t plan on wasting my parents' money and waste my time. ok, i feel like i'm too old and i'm still studying. i should be working! ugh.. i should not spend anytime on whining..there's nothing that i could do but to.. study.

tiring

i feel tired. nowadays i find myself so stress because of school. there are times that i don't what to work anymore. i only sleep the whole day and ended up wasting my time. also, i feel like i want to stop the time, just to take a moment of stillness. nothing is happening, only me and my world. i want to have peace and quiet. i feel like everything that's happening in my life right now is in fuzz. all in a hurry. too many deadlines. too many responsibilities. i sometimes imagine life is like an ipod. you can play it anytime you want. if you feel that you are tired and you are getting weak, you can always find time to charge. you can turn it off the whole day if you don't want to listen to any music. but no. life will never be that way. we are always work like hell and if you stop, you will be left behind.

waiting..

ok i hate facebook. but! i do play some of the games in their application :)) i'm playing restaurant city now. and damn this connection i can't connect right now. restaurant city is having your own restaurant and you can design it whatever you want. i want to earn a lot of money there and upgrade fast!.. so that my restaurant will be as nice as my friends are. i want to have those accessories that you can buy for your restaurant. i'm getting impatient in earning because all of the merchandize there are too expensive!

i stopped playing this game but one of my friends influenced me to play again..that's why i'm back and my restaurant will be the biggest in town! wait and see! :))

argh! still waiting for my restaurant city to load :(

hoping this will be over.SOON!

i hate being a woman. rar! hate having this monthly period and worst of all having PMS. (pre menstruation syndrome). i get easily irritated and i get angry even to non sense things. wish that this will be over and i'll be myself again. :( i also can't concentrate on my work at school and other stuff that i have to accomplish. i feel tired always and all i want to do is to sleep. sleep and sleep and sleep... my work is now piled up because of this laziness. another sign when a woman will have her period is that she's getting fat. and i DO! i hate it! when will this be over? i need to exert a lot of effort so that i can focus on the things that i need to accomplish.

bad thing is..even if it is over for this month. i will always encounter this feeling over and over again. month after month. i wonder why i still don't get the hang of it. i already hurt many people's feeling because of this stupid PMS. :(

facebook vs. multiply

people are now getting crazy over social networking. what is social networking? it function like an online community of internet users. Once you are granted access to a social networking website you can begin to socialize. This socialization may include reading the profile ages of other members and possibly even contacting them. some of them is facebook, multiply, friendster, myspace, and etc.

i personally have three accounts. facebook, multiply, and friendster. among these accounts, many people are into facebook and multiply.my friends are addicted to facebook because of the games that the site offers. i myself play some of those games and it is fun. but i like multiply against facebook. for me, multiply is more friendly user and you can personalize your site. unlike facebook, there is too much tabs in the site. also, there's too many advertisement that it flood your account. what i like more in multiply is that the pictures that you upload has greater quality than in facebook. the resolution is higher in multiply that's why you can enjoy more in looking at you friends' picture or you own pictures.

and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13: 13

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; the i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13: 12

when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. when i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. 1 Corinthians 13: 11

but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 1 Corinthians 13: 10

i think we just have to accept the person we love. everyone is not perfect. even the richest person is not happy. even the most intelligent person is not satisfied. we just have to remember that God loves us no matter who we are. that's we also have to love one another.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 1 Corinthians 13: 9

love never fails, but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13: 8

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13 : 7

Love is too demanding that it asks us to do all the impossible things in life. it is not easy to trust nor to hope always, and especially to perseveres when you're in hurt. yet, true love is described by God and i believe no one can do it. or maybe do it FOR ME. but i know someone did the most noble thing for me. Jesus' love is so great that i don't deserve to be forgiven from all of my sin. yet, He died on the cross to save me. through Jesus' example, i now, have someone to look up to. i have someone whom i can see how great love is. because of that, i can share my love to other people and let them feel what Jesus did for me. and for them.

love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth 1 Corinthians 13: 6

love should be pure, there should be no any trace of evil. we should perform all things that is pleasing in God's eyes. this emotion is a gift from our master, and no one else. all we have to do is to obey His will and do things that will make Him proud.

it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs 1 Corinthians 13: 5

love never looks for own happiness. it always seeks the goodness of all. if you love someone, you are patient in understanding him. you accept his mistakes and you are not angered by that easily. not at all.

this verse keeps on reminding me that love is not selfish. i should always give and don't expect anything in return. also, love leaves everything behind. what is important is the present and the future coz past will do no good. it will just hunt your memories and there's no escape.

if i give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, i gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13: 3

life is useless even if you think that you had given up everything in your life. even if you think that you'll donate all your possession to the poor, even if you surrender you life to your career, family, friends, etc... you earn nothing. you will still not be content in your life and you will always look for things that will make you happy.

if i have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have a faith that can move mountains, but not have love, i am nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2

the verse's message says that all the skills in the world is irrelevant if you don't have love, if you don't know how to love. also, no matter how intelligent you are, yet you don't know how to love, it is useless. loving people is the most important thing in this world. even if you have all the things that you want in your life, you won't be happy. happiness can be find if you know how to love others and yourself. even if you are faithful to your master, but you don't know how to love him/her, you are still nothing.

as i reflect on this verse, i felt that i need to spend time on thinking whether if i know how to love. of course i want to be a successful person. i want to have all the goodness in life, but i need to love myself and others. that is when i can find happiness in life. not on luxuries , not on success , not on fame..

if i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

for me, this verse says that no matter how good you are in speaking to a lot of people, it is useless if you don't know how to love. it is still important to built relationships that will last. people should also have love in themselves because this love will reflect to other people. people who don't know how to love is like a hypocrite. they are just hanging out with people because they need to. this verse reminds me that even if a have few friends, it doesn't matter. i don't need to have a lot of barkadas, just to say i am friendly. what is important is that i treasure the people that i have right now in my life. i can spread love that i have right now in my life.

starbucks barista!

one of my wildest/weirdest/craziest dream is to work as a barista at starbucks. funny how i really wanted to work there because helllloooo i'm studying communication. some people might thought that i'm just wasting my time because i', taking up a degree and all i wanted to be is a BARISTA! i really wanted to pursue the corporate world (which is very related to my course! haha) but, before going to that part of "my world", i just want to work for a while in starbucks. i used to think that it would only be my part-time job while i'm studying. but since that majors that i'm taking is too demanding, i can't afford to commit in working part time. why do i love working in starbucks? well i really love hanging out there and i'm a coffee addict. i love the environment there and i'd like to learn how to serve the coffee there.

hi swine

classes are suspended and it is funny. really! i think all the panics are useless because of this flu that's been invading our country. swine flu has been spreading wildly nowadays and i think there's no way to stop it. hello! i think all the germs are having fun here in our dirty country. i think they find where they truly belong. haha. it keeps me wondering how deadly is this? yes i know many have been contaminated by A(H1N1) but yet.. it is not as deadly like dengue. i think people here in our country should be more aware of dengue. dengue comes from mosquitos and we don't know where they are. mosquitos might be just in your sink or backyard and yet we are all panicking from swine flu. it is good to be alert and be cautious from swine flu, but hey... there's more to that. i am really disappointed to our media nowadays. aren't they keep on disturbing the people from all the numbers of victims that they are publicizing? all i know, all of this will stop. someday. and hopefully, people would get to know more of this A(H1N1). how could they be contaminated or what. if it is really alarming than other sickness that we have right now. i'm not saying that i know all about these things, but i'm just saying what's my opinion regarding this.

If I were the Prime Minister, I might have done the same thing. I would talk to the Queen and tell her that she needs to appear to the public. How the Royal Family sees the death of Princess Diana doesn’t matter at the moment. The republic started to doubt the monarchy and the Queen has to bounce back. I think what the Prime Minister did was reasonable.

the last activity was about "problem-solving with Dr. Worry". we were supposed to imagine that we are DR. worry and we have to give advice to the young people's magazine. the first advice that i gave is to doubting Dom. his problem is that he is doubting about himself. the best outcome that i was able think is that he should think better of himself. he will be able to achieve the best outcome if he will always trust himself and nurture his self-confidence. think that he is strong, capable, and self-reliant. in case that things didn't work out and they loose the debate, he shouldn't blame himself. instead be proud because he was still part of the debating team. all he should to is practice more and the next battle, they try again their best. the next person is confused Connie. her problem is that she is torn between convincing her friends and to the quality output of their thesis. how will she deal the problem without compromising the friendship. the best out come is to take an action. she should figure out what needs to be done, make a plan out to do it, and then take action. she can achieve this if she decides on what is more important to her, the thesis or the friendship. after the decision making process, she can plan on how will she do the action. if her later on she found out that her decision was wrong, she don't have to dwell on it. instead, make the most out of her decision and work hard on it.

the next activity that we had was about how resilient am i. we first had a "game" which was "practice makes perfect". in this "game", i found out that it is important to always have focus to our work. even though we are under pressure or no matter how hard the situation may be, we still need to disregard the things that are disturbing us. also, i learned that we shouldn't panic if the situation that we are about to face seems hard. we have to face the challenge and the next time we encounter the same scenario, we will be able to face it with confidence. i believe and happy to say that i am resilient enough. from that personality test that we answered, i was able checked 6/12 statements that indicate how resilient i am.

as our whole class was divided into two groups, my had our first meeting last thursday. we had a short activity which is like "getting to know" or ice breaker game. there were strips of paper given to us and the first one is about ourself. luckily i picked a strip of paper that was easy. i only had to say my name, my parents' name, and their occupation. the second paper was about our personal insights of the word that was written on the strip of paper. unlike the first one, i had a hard time thinking of what to say about a 'father'. i explain to the class that i don't know what to say about it because i didn't grow up with a dad. yet, i admired my father because he had not forgotten his responsibility to provide our financial aids. for example, i am still studying in an excellent university which everyone knows that has a high tuition fee. the second ice breaker that we had, we were group into three and talked about our stressors and how do we overcome them. this experience was nice because i was able to talked with two ladies who aren't my friends. i was able to met them first time and we had a fruitful discussion about our stressors. we were also able to share how we released our stress. this activity was very helpful to the class to somehow get to know one another, since we came from different colleges.

her future..

Three girls, Holly; Kendra; and Bridget, live together with Hugh Hefner in a mansion. the Girls of The Playboy Mansion are young, blonde, sexy, beautiful, yet too ambitious. These girls are ready to be in front of the camera and live with this old man. They play and party and just that. Yes, one thing that these girls do is play. For them, wearing two piece bikinis (in two super tiny pieces) and pose in front of the camera is just playing. Being watched by the world is someone who’s popular, no matter what they see on you. These girls are ridiculous. How could they take kissing an old man (very very old man) and be treated like a porn star. I also pity the family of these three women because if I were the parents of these women, I would be shameful. I could not accept the fact that my daughter is on TV, might have sex with this dirty old man and the whole world might be watching. As a mother looking at my daughter being treated that low is very degrading. It is also funny why blonde girl are called dumb. They are beautiful. But why are they using this beauty in such a way? Why are they allowing people to do that to them? Maybe they are willing,.. willing for popularity? For wealth? This reality show is distorting the way a woman should be respected.

I was disturbed when I flicked on the channel of our television. I saw this program and I tried to watch. I saw these blonde girls having mall tours. Many people are falling in line to have their signatures and pictures. Men and women, they are all there. But of course men would always have that menacing look in their eyes. When a young girl, around 5 years old, came out of the line to have her turn for the picture and signature taking, I was so shocked. How does she know about these blonde girls? Is she allowed to watch the ‘girls of the playboy mansion’? I wonder how that young girl would look on herself after 10 years. How will she respect herself if she sees these girls act that way, treated that way..Scary..

date my mom

Dating is normal. All ages as long as the person is single, though some people who has a relationship still goes into dating. This show is a reality show about a guy who wants to date a lady. Before he do so, he has to choose from three women AND this women is the mother of the ladies whom they will have a date with. There will have a three set of dates. Every date is a different mom. Every mother has to make an impression for her daughter so that the guy will choose her daughter to be his date. After the three dates that went through, the guy will make a decision on who he will pick.

This could be an adventurous way of having a blind date. You don’t know who your date is but on the side of the guy, he could somehow see the personality of the girl through the mother. For the girl’s part? She could bribe her mother to be good, behave and talk about all the good things about her. Also, the mother could see the character of the guy through the set up date that they have. On the other hand, this show is funny because you could see the mothers ready to do anything in their date. She can dance even though she can’t. She can do boxing even if her body is aching. She can do bungee jumping though her heart wants to pop out from her lungs. Although those mothers look like they are selling their daughter for a date with this guy, I find this mothers so cool. They are willing to meet a new guy, do an activity that they might have no idea what it is, just to make their daughter happy. It is just shameful if your daughter was not chosen. But still they are still into this game.

manhattan's elite

this TV series 'gossip girl' and THE ONLY series that i ever watch. tv series usually bores me. but this is different i could say. I am very hooked up in this show that’s why I downloaded all the episodes in season2. I started watching this when I borrowed a dvd from my friend which is a compilation of season 1. if you’re in to fashion. No reason for you not to like this show. All the characters are so well dressed. And I love to put myself into the shoes of the characters and set it into real life. Maybe one of my dreams is to be one of the elites. Yes it’s crazy, but hey! Everyone is free to have big dream right? I love wearing suites, dress, high heels, etc. also, I love to be do all I want to do. Like in the show, they are free to do whatever they want to do. Although they have their parents with them, freedom is much expressed by these people. Knowing that america’s culture is different from ours, it is kinda sad that we are different from them.

Frankly, this show really has bad values that are really dangerous to the viewers who are so hooked up to what they are watching. Since this series shows a lot of liberation, as teenage viewers, their belief on what is right might be destroyed. For example, having sex during high school is an amplification of how free they are. This might be taken as an ‘okay’ scenario by the young ones and sadly, they might apply this in their lives. Also, there are lots of scandalous things that is happening in this tv show. Teenagers post gossip on a website and this gossip spreads to everyone. This is hazardous to the people because this shows that it is a norm to post gossip and tell everyone what is happening to someone’s life. Even if it’s not true. I know that all shows that we see on tv present values like in ‘gossip girl”. This show would like to illustrate, love, friendship, relationship, priorities, loyalty. But all show has its down side. We just have to be cautious to what we see and hear. Beware while watching.

finding your true love?

more people are getting into reality shows. one of the is looking for your lifetime partner, through a television show. a Bachelor would look for his bride-to-be and lots of women are willing to be part of this craziness. i honestly watch this show. but i don't know why this reality show draws my attention. whenever i flip through the channels and saw an episode of the show, i would stop and watch..and the next thing i would do is to criticize the show. everyone would like to have a husband/wife in the future ( or at least majority of human beings would like to). but is it really true to fall in love, while cameras are following you? while the whole world are watching you? i can't see what is sweet in what they are doing. the fact that in one series, more or less 20 women compete for one bachelor. every episode, they are eliminated until the last one stands. and the guy will propose for the girl. i ask myself whether falling in love is a competition like the reality show is presenting to the public. aren't they destroying the true perspective of 'love'? i also pity the women who are part of this what i so-called 'game'. although they are foolish because they joined in, but maybe before they joined, they thought this as a literal game. maybe they thought that this is just a game which the prettiest, sexiest women will win. they might not know that they are involving their feelings to this 'game'. image yourself having a sex with the bachelor then the next day, another girl will have the same situation that you thought special. it is like you are sharing a cupcake to every girl there. and the sad part is.. you don't know what the true feelings of the bachelor. if he say 'i love you' or 'i am falling in love with you', is he also saying it to two or more girls in the show?

spending time on eating

sweat pouring down my face, *pant pant*..couldn't breathe.. my muscle is aching.. few more steps..

a routine that i've missed so much when i was in high school. thrice a week i have my basketball training. i miss the hard trainings that we had especially when a league is coming. but what i miss the most? my physically fit body. :( during those times, no matter how many i ate, it is alright because it will all be burned. rice, chocolates, chips, all the sinful food that anyone could take..i could eat them without hesitation back then. i dare to eat them because during practices, i knew that it is worth eatiiing.. there's really big difference now. even though i don't eat.. i can feel that i am getting fat. ok exaggerating. how can a person get fat if he/she is NOT eating anything. blaaa.. what i mean is that even if i eat everything in small amout, i feel that i am committing a crime. haha.. paranoid? it is just so fun to eat without thinking of your weight and anything. during my free time, all think is food. (well, sometimes..)

i have to nag..again! i have to nag, i have to nag, i have to naaaag! why? because i feel that it is unfair that some people don't get fat while me? i eat only few, yet tadaaaa!

all around internet

internet is very common to all the people around the world. it is used by everyone, such as corporate workers, teachers, students, designers, businessmen, practitioners, etc. internet makes our life more convenient and it conserves time a lot. frequently, we go to our computer, opens it and connect to the available internet connection there is. as easy as it is, we type into the search engine that we wold like to seek. immediately, there are lots information that we could access. searching on the internet is such that trouble-free unlike on searching on the library. we don't have to open a lot of books in order to gather the information that we need. having the internet is no hassle at all. browsing the internet is very helpful to students because it could enhance their knowledge and this could also help them in their assignments. also, career people could benefit to the use of internet. these people could update themselves to the new trends or the news through the internet. besides from searching, we could also upload pictures, videos, audios, etc. through this medium. we could reach everyone around the world and share our thoughts, ideas, and the things that we worked on. on the other hand, we could download stuff through the internet. the power of internet doesn't stop there. there's online shopping which we could have transactions things using the internet. we could order/deliver whether locally or internationally. also, there are online classes which some of the universities practice. in case that the professor couldn't meet his/her class, he/she could still facilitate a discussion/lecture. there's also online enrollment which is a lot convenient for the students because they don't have to fall in line in order to register their name to the class/classes that they will attend for the next school year. by the internet, people could also communicate by using chat, e-mails, etc. this is a way we could contact people in case we don't have a telephone or cellphone. social networking nowadays is very popular. facebook, multiply, friendster, and twitter are just some of the social network that people use in order to meet other colleagues. this is also a way where we can update ourselves on what is happening to our friends that we seldom talk to.

internet really has a lot of advantages and it can aid us to our needs. BUT we must not take for granted the down side of it. many young teenagers who are very much engage to online games, which have bad affects on their academic grades. sometimes, even behaviors are destroyed. also, since internet is accessible to all, there's no privacy. people could download everything which is unacceptable. we should remember that internet could help us, or entertain us. we are so lucky that in our generation, people get to invent this thing. it is our own liability to use it properly and the responsibility is on our fingers.

they could sing!

there is a lot of talent in this world. it comes in different variety, forms, etc. one talent that i witnessed a lot lately is singing. yes, we can turn on the television set at our homes and see people who sing. they certainly catch the attention of the viewers. but me? honestly, i can't sing even just a line that is in the right tune. BUT i'm proud to say that i am involved to a group who can sing their heart out and inspire the audience. maybe that's the reason why i think they are awesome. these people ARE awesome. singing is their passion. they live by facing the crowd, holding their mics, and express the form of art that they know. i believe in this people. and i can see that they could entertain the people who watch the the ones we see on TV.

like i said, singing is a form of art, and this art will never die not unless people will stop singing. moreover, no one can put MY group down because they are here for a purpose. they are here to be up on the stage and sing. what am i here for? to warn those people who put them down. be prepared guys. they will prove you all wrong. as long as these people has the passion, they won't let put this group into failure. i know you are looking forward for the time that we will be in the pit. be ready, because you might looking down long enough and you might not see that we are already up in there reaching the sky. we don't care how good you are, how talented you are (if that's really the case) but one thing you could do is.. step back. let us do our thing. and swallow all your comments to yourself because we don't need it. we need criticism that will help us improve, not that will make us loose our control and be completely annoyed.